I’ve seen this before, I’ve been on this same scenario before. Same old fate. The guy spoke to me with words, I responded with feelings. Same old shitty love. It just keeps on coming back but with different people.
The moment we got acquainted, I imagined how fun it would be to be constantly with you, more fun than how it already is being just your friend. Then I learned you’re seeing someone so I just delighted myself having you as an acquaintance, my happy pill. I thought how lucky that girl is, having you. Having you as a company has a feel-good factor, no dull moments. Day by day, I lived with it whenever you’re around.
I learned one day that you’re not the guy I’ve always dreamed of. You’re not the one who looks only at one girl; you’re not the almost-perfect-guy I’m always attracted with. You text, chat and date with them all and I get easily turned off with guys like that. I never imagined myself get attracted with guys like you until you came because the strange thing is I found myself still into you. It’s a scary thing.
Then a day came when she told you she can’t be with you. I find it a fortunate day. Call me schadenfreude. I was happy, and that was scarier. We became closer than before and though you’re still the womanizer as you are my feelings didn’t fade a bit, it even grew. I’m scared this feeling could be real and for keeps in spite of all the many things I should be discouraged with. This is the only new thing in the story of my same old fate.
One more fortunate day came when things between us got better, things I couldn’t elaborate in fear of you knowing how I feel. I don’t want you to know that I’m happy about the things you do and say. I rarely tell others how I feel with someone because when I do, I feel I’ll be on the losing side when things get tough. Anyways, I’m glad about how things are going between us and a part of me is shooting for the moon these things won’t end. But if we end before we even start something, a part of me wishes these things last as soon as possible before a greater damage is done.
Now that unfortunately you have a new someone which isn’t me, I want you to stop the things you’ve been saying and doing to me. Stop giving me mixed signals. I’m fully aware that we started as a joke and you are keeping it that way but I’m already feeling a real thing here and I hate to say I’m hurt but damn I am. Now I struggle on the days when I used to be happy hearing what you're about to say and receiving much-appreciated gestures knowing you have someone you feel real feelings with. If you stop, it would still hurt but it will be excruciating if you won’t yet you’re telling the world you like and even love her, and you’re communicating with her when we’re together. Your mistake was you started things between us though you're not serious at all. Just for fun. My fault was I eventually fell for it. And I fell hard. Now I don’t know how to react whenever you tell me about her or some other girls.I used to know how to react whenever I hear you’re seeing someone else because that is who you are, I got used to it but you made me unlearn it. I guess I'll be learning it again the hard way.
It’s sad that my story will end again even before it even started and what’s worse is my happy pill, the one I look forward to taking everyday is now becoming a poison I find hard to get rid of.
The moment we got acquainted, I imagined how fun it would be to be constantly with you, more fun than how it already is being just your friend. Then I learned you’re seeing someone so I just delighted myself having you as an acquaintance, my happy pill. I thought how lucky that girl is, having you. Having you as a company has a feel-good factor, no dull moments. Day by day, I lived with it whenever you’re around.
I learned one day that you’re not the guy I’ve always dreamed of. You’re not the one who looks only at one girl; you’re not the almost-perfect-guy I’m always attracted with. You text, chat and date with them all and I get easily turned off with guys like that. I never imagined myself get attracted with guys like you until you came because the strange thing is I found myself still into you. It’s a scary thing.
Then a day came when she told you she can’t be with you. I find it a fortunate day. Call me schadenfreude. I was happy, and that was scarier. We became closer than before and though you’re still the womanizer as you are my feelings didn’t fade a bit, it even grew. I’m scared this feeling could be real and for keeps in spite of all the many things I should be discouraged with. This is the only new thing in the story of my same old fate.
One more fortunate day came when things between us got better, things I couldn’t elaborate in fear of you knowing how I feel. I don’t want you to know that I’m happy about the things you do and say. I rarely tell others how I feel with someone because when I do, I feel I’ll be on the losing side when things get tough. Anyways, I’m glad about how things are going between us and a part of me is shooting for the moon these things won’t end. But if we end before we even start something, a part of me wishes these things last as soon as possible before a greater damage is done.
Now that unfortunately you have a new someone which isn’t me, I want you to stop the things you’ve been saying and doing to me. Stop giving me mixed signals. I’m fully aware that we started as a joke and you are keeping it that way but I’m already feeling a real thing here and I hate to say I’m hurt but damn I am. Now I struggle on the days when I used to be happy hearing what you're about to say and receiving much-appreciated gestures knowing you have someone you feel real feelings with. If you stop, it would still hurt but it will be excruciating if you won’t yet you’re telling the world you like and even love her, and you’re communicating with her when we’re together. Your mistake was you started things between us though you're not serious at all. Just for fun. My fault was I eventually fell for it. And I fell hard. Now I don’t know how to react whenever you tell me about her or some other girls.I used to know how to react whenever I hear you’re seeing someone else because that is who you are, I got used to it but you made me unlearn it. I guess I'll be learning it again the hard way.
It’s sad that my story will end again even before it even started and what’s worse is my happy pill, the one I look forward to taking everyday is now becoming a poison I find hard to get rid of.