Opening up to anyone is difficult for me. I’d rather stay in my own bubble, keep things to myself or write about how I feel. No wonder I am doing it now. This keeps my sanity intact. Only a few understand this introvert thing.
I spent years not needing someone to share my inner thoughts with. I had a diary in high school which I keep until now and even named it Fidus, Latin for trustworthy. I only stopped writing on my diary when I opened up a blog. I don’t know but I have trust issues. It’s hard for me to fully trust anyone so I always take pleasure in expressing my thoughts in writing instead. Writing lightens up every heaviness I feel. It helps me gather my thoughts and once I am done writing, every toxic feeling goes away. I don’t even mind not having any readers. I actually don’t tell anyone about it and I feel secured knowing no one will ever read it. Introvert thing.
I treasure solitude so much because I am so used to it to the point that being out in the open drains me. Although I also enjoy the company of a few friends and I sometimes even felt the need to get out of my bubble and tried immersing myself to the crowd but after a day or two of doing so I found myself not enjoying anymore. I was drained to the core and solitude alone helped me recharge. I realized right there and then that I will always be an introvert and I don’t mind being one. I am actually happy being an introvert. I can’t imagine myself being the opposite or even try to be the opposite. Introvert thing.
I’ve spent my entire life being away from anyone’s focus. I hate being the center of attention even just for a minute. I am always just on the side observing things and people. I enjoy doing so. I notice everything but I keep my silence. That’s how introverts are, I guess. It’s hard for me to digest my introversion because my closest friends are extroverts. Introvert thing.
I got to know myself more when I stumbled upon a fellow introvert who also knows a lot of introverts. We talked about how an introvert’s mind works and I realized I am everything she said what an introvert is. Introverts notice things and we like to analyze people. We keep everything to ourselves. We enjoy deep meaningful conversations. That’s how we thrive. Small talks bore us to the bones. Personally, I am not good in expressing myself verbally. I find it difficult to gather my thoughts in person. It’s hard for me to give advices to a friend who is crying in front of me. I’d rather have us talk over Messenger or thru SMS. Introvert thing.
I am also not used to people noticing me. Funny how I even try to avoid any conversation or any human interactions because most days I am introverting. These days I am sort of struggling. I was never in an official relationship so I don’t know how to deal with one guy noticing me how much more two. This stuff is all new to me. Although I had previous experiences like this before but it’s different now when I am more mature and became more introvert. Even though I am open to meeting people and getting to know them, it’s hard for me to open up myself to someone, to let them get to know me. I am used to be the one who listens but never the one who talks. Introvert thing.
There’s this one guy whom everyone teases me with. Whenever we’re together, we sort of become a focus of everyone’s attention. Friends kept on posting stuffs about us on social media, being so supportive of our tandem. It’s not hard to like him because aside from his good looks, he is also a good guy. We became a topic for people who know us. They kept on asking us about each other even though in reality, there’s really nothing going on. Whenever people who know us see me, they always mention the guy’s name as if it’s an automatic reflex. I am not comfortable with it, with people outside from my close friends noticing me or any part of my life. Introvert thing.
There’s this other guy whom I had a liking years ago. It never occurred to me then that he’ll ever notice me until lately when he initiated a conversation online and the communication went on until now. We talk everyday. What bothers me is the kind of conversations we’re having. All small talks. I want to get to know people to their core but I can’t do that with small talks. I tried to initiate deep conversation but it immediately reverts back to small talks which bored me a lot. Whenever he mentions us going out, I always have second thoughts because I don't know how to keep up with that kind of conversation in person. I like him but I don’t think I can keep up with this for long. Also, I find it hard to analyze him. I don’t know if he is shallow, the what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of person or if he’s someone who is so deep that I can’t figure out just yet. Anyway, it’s still too early to tell. I can use our future conversations to figure him out more. Introvert thing.
Introversion is hard to understand for those who are not introverts. We even find it hard to get to know ourselves how much more those who are not. People have to be patient with us because it’s difficult for us to keep up in a fast-paced world. We like to take things slow and understand and enjoy each moment. We are not shy. Ask my close friends if I am and they’ll tell you the opposite. We just choose our conversations. People need to at least try to get to know us in a deeper level then they’ll appreciate how beautiful life can be having introverts around.
I spent years not needing someone to share my inner thoughts with. I had a diary in high school which I keep until now and even named it Fidus, Latin for trustworthy. I only stopped writing on my diary when I opened up a blog. I don’t know but I have trust issues. It’s hard for me to fully trust anyone so I always take pleasure in expressing my thoughts in writing instead. Writing lightens up every heaviness I feel. It helps me gather my thoughts and once I am done writing, every toxic feeling goes away. I don’t even mind not having any readers. I actually don’t tell anyone about it and I feel secured knowing no one will ever read it. Introvert thing.
I treasure solitude so much because I am so used to it to the point that being out in the open drains me. Although I also enjoy the company of a few friends and I sometimes even felt the need to get out of my bubble and tried immersing myself to the crowd but after a day or two of doing so I found myself not enjoying anymore. I was drained to the core and solitude alone helped me recharge. I realized right there and then that I will always be an introvert and I don’t mind being one. I am actually happy being an introvert. I can’t imagine myself being the opposite or even try to be the opposite. Introvert thing.
I’ve spent my entire life being away from anyone’s focus. I hate being the center of attention even just for a minute. I am always just on the side observing things and people. I enjoy doing so. I notice everything but I keep my silence. That’s how introverts are, I guess. It’s hard for me to digest my introversion because my closest friends are extroverts. Introvert thing.
I got to know myself more when I stumbled upon a fellow introvert who also knows a lot of introverts. We talked about how an introvert’s mind works and I realized I am everything she said what an introvert is. Introverts notice things and we like to analyze people. We keep everything to ourselves. We enjoy deep meaningful conversations. That’s how we thrive. Small talks bore us to the bones. Personally, I am not good in expressing myself verbally. I find it difficult to gather my thoughts in person. It’s hard for me to give advices to a friend who is crying in front of me. I’d rather have us talk over Messenger or thru SMS. Introvert thing.
I am also not used to people noticing me. Funny how I even try to avoid any conversation or any human interactions because most days I am introverting. These days I am sort of struggling. I was never in an official relationship so I don’t know how to deal with one guy noticing me how much more two. This stuff is all new to me. Although I had previous experiences like this before but it’s different now when I am more mature and became more introvert. Even though I am open to meeting people and getting to know them, it’s hard for me to open up myself to someone, to let them get to know me. I am used to be the one who listens but never the one who talks. Introvert thing.
There’s this one guy whom everyone teases me with. Whenever we’re together, we sort of become a focus of everyone’s attention. Friends kept on posting stuffs about us on social media, being so supportive of our tandem. It’s not hard to like him because aside from his good looks, he is also a good guy. We became a topic for people who know us. They kept on asking us about each other even though in reality, there’s really nothing going on. Whenever people who know us see me, they always mention the guy’s name as if it’s an automatic reflex. I am not comfortable with it, with people outside from my close friends noticing me or any part of my life. Introvert thing.
There’s this other guy whom I had a liking years ago. It never occurred to me then that he’ll ever notice me until lately when he initiated a conversation online and the communication went on until now. We talk everyday. What bothers me is the kind of conversations we’re having. All small talks. I want to get to know people to their core but I can’t do that with small talks. I tried to initiate deep conversation but it immediately reverts back to small talks which bored me a lot. Whenever he mentions us going out, I always have second thoughts because I don't know how to keep up with that kind of conversation in person. I like him but I don’t think I can keep up with this for long. Also, I find it hard to analyze him. I don’t know if he is shallow, the what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of person or if he’s someone who is so deep that I can’t figure out just yet. Anyway, it’s still too early to tell. I can use our future conversations to figure him out more. Introvert thing.
Introversion is hard to understand for those who are not introverts. We even find it hard to get to know ourselves how much more those who are not. People have to be patient with us because it’s difficult for us to keep up in a fast-paced world. We like to take things slow and understand and enjoy each moment. We are not shy. Ask my close friends if I am and they’ll tell you the opposite. We just choose our conversations. People need to at least try to get to know us in a deeper level then they’ll appreciate how beautiful life can be having introverts around.